IÆve always hated being looked at.
("Delirium")
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My stomach gets that hollowed-out feeling. It's amazing how words can do that, just shred your insides apart.
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It's like there's a filter set up in my brain, except instead of making things better, it twists everything around so what comes out of my mouth is totally wrong, totally different from what I was thinking.
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Sometimes I feel as though there are two me's, one coasting directly on top of the other: the superficial me, who nods when she's supposed to nod and says what she's supposed to say, and some other, deeper part, the part that worries and dreams... Most of the time they move along in sync and I hardly notice the split, but sometimes it feels as though I'm two whole different people and I could rip apart at any second.
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Maybe this is the secret to talking to boys--maybe you just have to be angry all the time.
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