To this day I can't get aroused until I see a pair of rubber dice hanging from the mirror
More Quotes from Johnny Carson:
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.Johnny Carson
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Johnny Carson
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"
Johnny Carson
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Johnny Carson
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If we say that anyone who "moralizes" must be perfect morally then we are in effect saying no one can moralize.
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I want to go out at the top, but the secret is knowing when you're at the top, it's so difficult in this business, your career fluctuates all the time, up and down, like a pair of trousers.
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