Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
More Quotes from Johnny Carson:
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.Johnny Carson
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
Johnny Carson
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
Johnny Carson
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Johnny Carson
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
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Based on Topics: Christianity Quotes, Christmas Quotes, Time QuotesBased on Keywords: packages
Moral authority has been laid to rest, world opinion is no more than a game show and the difference between good and evil is about as relevant as changing channels.
Ralph Steadman
And it seems to be today, image is a real important thing once again.
Phil Anselmo
At every crisis in one's life, it is absolute salvation to have some sympathetic friend to whom you can think aloud without restraint or misgiving.
Woodrow Wilson