A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy.
More Quotes from Joan Rivers:
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.Joan Rivers
Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers
Calling him a son of a b, ... Don't you dare call me a racist I want an apology from you.
Joan Rivers
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
a good actress with real pathos.
Joan Rivers
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It's difficult for me to feel that a solid page without the breakups of paragraphs can be interesting. I break mine up perhaps sooner than I should in terms of the usage of the English language.A. E. van Vogt
Acting is half shame, half glory. Shame at exhibiting yourself, glory when you can forget yourself.
John Gielgud
My job as a portrait photographer is to seduce, amuse and entertain.
Helmut Newton