It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
...and then at the end of the letter I like to write P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.Mitch Hedberg
My friend said to me, You know what I like Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.
Mitch Hedberg
A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, 'Do you have coke in a glass harmonica ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews'
Mitch Hedberg
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.
Mitch Hedberg
It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky...
Mitch Hedberg
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg
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Based on Topics: People QuotesBased on Keywords: apes
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