I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
More Quotes from Tim Vine:
Velcro: what a rip-off.Tim Vine
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'
Tim Vine
I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
Tim Vine
With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke.
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I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
Tim Vine
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Tim Vine
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