I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
More Quotes from Henny Youngman:
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Henny Youngman
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
Henny Youngman
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henny Youngman
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
Henny Youngman
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If I could do one thing over I'd have been nicer to my parents.
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