I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
More Quotes from Phyllis Diller:
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.Phyllis Diller
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didnt do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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