In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.Emo Philips
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
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I ran three miles today. Finally I said, Lady take your purse.
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I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
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England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.
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I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
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