Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.
("Me Talk Pretty One Day")
More Quotes from David Sedaris:
What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.David Sedaris
Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. The door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. The agent then says, I'm goi
David Sedaris
When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
David Sedaris
The message was that if something is free, you should only take the best. If, on the other hand, you're forced to pay, it's best to lower the bar and not be so choosy.
David Sedaris
Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do that on people.
David Sedaris
I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
David Sedaris
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