He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
("Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal")
More Quotes from Christopher Moore:
Mr. Fresh sat down on the stool behind the counter and stared into the eyes of the cardboard cutout of Cher, hoping to find answers there. But the bitch was holding out.Christopher Moore
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.
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Charlie found himself affecting the Emperor's formal speech patterns, as if somehow he had been transported to a royal court where a nobleman was distinguished by the crumbs in his beard and the royal guard were not above licking their balls.
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread, who am I?
Christopher Moore
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
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Based on Keywords: bejeezusI thank my God for graciously granting me the opportunity of learning that death is the key which unlocks the door to our true happiness.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Everything born has to die, in order to make room for the future.
Joan D. Vinge
I love anything to do with ventriloquism and magic.
Illeana Douglas