The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
More Quotes from Billy Connolly:
But still, I kept thinking, if I'm still troubled by this, if I'm still carrying it around like a big rucksack full of bricks and my father's dead, I need someone to tell me how to get rid of this great weight. . . . The most awful thing was that it was kind of pleasant physically, you know. That's why nobody tells.Billy Connolly
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy Connolly
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly
I'm very big in Australia, New Zealand, Britain, Canada and America. It's nice. I have a lovely life, and actually it pays better than the movies. Well, it doesn't pay better than Tom Cruise in the movies. But it pays better than I get. I get bus fare compared to these guys.
Billy Connolly
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
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Based on Keywords: glasgowWell, I had a lot of help from my father with the soldering and so on, and he was very good at math and was fascinated with computers, and so I was fortunate enough to have a bunch of exposure going all the way back to high school - this was in the 1960s.
Mitch Kapor
An intellectual is someone who avoids the mundane by lowering his handicap.
Richard Reeves
I never played with a runner in my entire life, even in schools, because only I know where the ball is going and how hard, when I hit the ball, something my runner will never know about.
Sachin Tendulkar