To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. . . . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.
More Quotes from Bill Bryson:In three minutes, 98 percent of all the matter there is or will ever be has been produced. We have a universe. It is a place of the most wondrous and gratifying possibility, and beautiful, too. And it was all done in about the time it takes to make a sandwich.
When I was growing up I used to think that the best thing about coming from Des Moines was that it meant you didn't come from anywhere else in Iowa. By Iowa standards, Des Moines is a mecca of cosmopolitanism, a dynamic hub of wealth and education . . .
Boston's freeway system is insane. It was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains.
Nothing gives the English more pleasure, in a quiet but determined sort of way, than to do things oddly.
I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth.
Among the many thousands of things that I have never been able to understand, one in particular stands out. That is the question of who was the first person who stood by a pile of sand and said, You know, I bet if we took some of this and mixed it with a little potash and heated it, we could make a material that would be solid and yet transparent. We could call it glass. Call me obtuse, but you could stand me on a beach till the end of time and never would it occur to me to try to make it into windows.
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:Based on Topics: Cows Quotes, Mind Quotes, Perfection Quotes, Pets Quotes
I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures.
The Constitution of the United States allows us to change; I don't have a problem with that.
I just play for fun.