As for those grapefruit and buttermilk diets, I'll take roast chicken and dumplings.
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When I was little, my mother taught me how to use a fork and knife. The trouble is that Mother forget to teach me how to stop using them!
I don't belong on this earth. I always feel out of place - like a visitor.
I did my best, and God did the rest.
Bob Hope, Red Skelton, and Eddie Cantor... help us keep our balance.
I am loathe to get married again. I've been married enough; I just prefer to forget it.
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I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.