Strike while your employer has a big contract.
More Quotes from Ambrose Gwinett Bierce:
HALF, n. One of two equal parts into which a thing may be divided, or considered as divided. In the fourteenth century a heated discussion arose among theologists and philosophers as to whether Omniscience could part an object into three halves and the pious Father Aldrovinus publicly prayed in the cathedral at Rouen that God would demonstrate the affirmative of the proposition in some signal and unmistakable way, and particularly (if it should please Him) upon the body of that hardy blasphemer, Manutius Procinus, who maintained the negative. Procinus, however, was spared to die of the bite of a viper.Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
PERSEVERANCE, n. A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. Persevere, persevere cry the homilists all, Themselves, day and night, persevering to bawl. Remember the fable of tortoise and hare -- The one at the goal while the other is --where Why, back there in Dreamland, renewing his lease Of life, all his muscles preserving the peace, The goal and the rival forgotten alike, And the long fatigue of the needless hike. His spirit a-squat in the grass and the dew Of the dogless Land beyond the Stew, He sleeps, like a saint in a holy place, A winner of all that is good in a race. --Sukker Uffro.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
ABILITY, n. The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity. Perhaps, however, this impressive quality is rightly appraised it is no easy task to be solemn.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scythe
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
BAPTISM, n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways --by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.But whether the plan of immersion Is better than simple aspersion Let those immersed And those aspersed Decide by the Authorized Version, And by matching their agues tertian. --G.J.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
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