SMITHAREEN, n. A fragment, a decomponent part, a remain. The word is used variously, but in the following verse on a noted female reformer who opposed bicycle-riding by women because it led them to the devil it is seen at its best; The wheels go round without a sound -- The maidens hold high revel In sinful mood, insanely gay, True spinsters spin adown the way From duty to the devil They laugh, they sing, and --ting-a-ling Their bells go all the morning Their lanterns bright bestar the night Pedestrians a-warning. With lifted hands Miss Charlotte stands, Good-Lording and O-mying, Her rheumatism forgotten quite, Her fat with anger frying. She blocks the path that leads to wrath, Jack Satan's power defying. The wheels go round without a sound The lights burn red and blue and green. What's this that's found upon the ground Poor Charlotte Smith's a smithareen --John William Yope.
More Quotes from Ambrose Gwinett Bierce:
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
FORK, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth. Formerly the knife was employed for this purpose, and by many worthy persons is still thought to have many advantages over the other tool, which, however, they do not altogether reject, but use to assist in charging the knife. The immunity of these persons from swift and awful death is one of the most striking proofs of God's mercy to those that hate Him.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
HALF, n. One of two equal parts into which a thing may be divided, or considered as divided. In the fourteenth century a heated discussion arose among theologists and philosophers as to whether Omniscience could part an object into three halves and the pious Father Aldrovinus publicly prayed in the cathedral at Rouen that God would demonstrate the affirmative of the proposition in some signal and unmistakable way, and particularly (if it should please Him) upon the body of that hardy blasphemer, Manutius Procinus, who maintained the negative. Procinus, however, was spared to die of the bite of a viper.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
HELPMATE, n. A wife, or bitter half.Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat Says the priest. Since the time 'o yer wooin' She's niver sic assisted in what ye were at -- For it's naught ye are ever doin'.That's true of yer Riverence sic, Patrick replies, And no sign of contrition envicesBut, bedad, it's a fact which the word implies, For she helps to mate the expinses sic --Marley Wottel
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
DISTRESS, n. A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
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Based on Topics: Anger Quotes, Devils Quotes, Laughter Quotes, Light Quotes, Morning Quotes, Night Quotes, Sin QuotesBased on Keywords: adown, defying, frying, insanely, lanterns, maidens, pedestrians, revel, rheumatism, satans, smiths, spinsters, variously
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