BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.
More Quotes from Ambrose Gwinett Bierce:
CLIO, n. One of the nine Muses. Clio's function was to preside over history --which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being addressed by Messrs. Xenophon, Herodotus and otherAmbrose Gwinett Bierce
BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive others.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Done to a turn on the iron, behold Him who to be famous aspired. Content Well, his grill has a plating of gold, And his twistings are greatly admired. --Hassan Brubuddy
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
HALF, n. One of two equal parts into which a thing may be divided, or considered as divided. In the fourteenth century a heated discussion arose among theologists and philosophers as to whether Omniscience could part an object into three halves and the pious Father Aldrovinus publicly prayed in the cathedral at Rouen that God would demonstrate the affirmative of the proposition in some signal and unmistakable way, and particularly (if it should please Him) upon the body of that hardy blasphemer, Manutius Procinus, who maintained the negative. Procinus, however, was spared to die of the bite of a viper.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
ALLIGATOR, n. The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World. Herodotus says the Indus is, with one exception, the only river that produces crocodiles, but they appear to have gone West and grown up with the other rivers. From the notches on his back the alligator is called a sawrian.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Topics: Birth Quotes, Man Quotes, Nature Quotes, Sons Quotes, Water Quotes, Wine QuotesBased on Keywords: aetna, avers, castor, cavern, direst, pallas
People are worms, and even the God who created them is immensely bored with their antics.
Ama Ata Aidoo
They're either going to fire you or they're not. They can only fire you. That's all they can do. They can't take your thumbs.
Ron Livingston
America, I've given you all and now I'm nothing.
Allen Ginsberg