BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive others.
More Quotes from Ambrose Gwinett Bierce:
Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tactAmbrose Gwinett Bierce
TIGHTS, n. An habiliment of the stage designed to reinforce the general acclamation of the press agent with a particular publicity. Public attention was once somewhat diverted from this garment to Miss Lillian Russell's refusal to wear it, and many were the conjectures as to her motive, the guess of Miss Pauline Hall showing a high order of ingenuity and sustained reflection. It was Miss Hall's belief that nature had not endowed Miss Russell with beautiful legs. This theory was impossible of acceptance by the male understanding, but the conception of a faulty female leg was of so prodigious originality as to rank among the most brilliant feats of philosophical speculation It is strange that in all the controversy regarding Miss Russell's aversion to tights no one seems to have thought to ascribe it to what was known among the ancients as modesty. The nature of that sentiment is now imperfectly understood, and possibly incapable of exposition with the vocabulary that remains to us. The study of lost arts has, however, been recently revived and some of the arts themselves recovered. This is an epoch of renaissances, and there is ground for hope that the primitive blush may be dragged from its hiding-place amongst the tombs of antiquity and hissed on to the stage.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
INFERIAE, n. Latin Among the Greeks and Romans, sacrifices for propitation of the Dii Manes, or souls of the dead heroes for the pious ancients could not invent enough gods to satisfy their spiritual needs, and had to have a number of makeshift deities, or, as a sailor might say, jury-gods, which they made out of the most unpromising materials. It was while sacrificing a bullock to the spirit of Agamemnon that Laiaides, a priest of Aulis, was favored with an audience of that illustrious warrior's shade, who prophetically recounted to him the birth of Christ and the triumph of Christianity, giving him also a rapid but tolerably complete review of events down to the reign of Saint Louis. The narrative ended abruptly at the point, owing to the inconsiderate crowing of a cock, which compelled the ghosted King of Men to scamper back to Hades. There is a fine mediaeval flavor to this story, and as it has not been traced back further than Pere Brateille, a pious but obscure writer at the court of Saint Louis, we shall probably not err on the side of presumption in considering it apocryphal, though Monsignor Capel's judgment of the matter might be different and to that I bow --wow.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
SYMBOLIC, adj. Pertaining to symbols and the use and interpretation of symbols. They say 'tis conscience feels compunction I hold that that's the stomach's function, For of the sinner I have noted That when he's sinned he's somewhat bloated, Or ill some other ghastly fashion Within that bowel of compassion. True, I believe the only sinner Is he that eats a shabby dinner. You know how Adam with good reason, For eating apples out of season, Was cursed. But that is all symbolic The truth is, Adam had the colic.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Keywords: barrackI am not afraid of aging, but more afraid of people's reactions to my aging.
Barbara Hershey
I take a simple view of life: keep your eyes open and get on with it.
Laurence Olivier
'Tis no sin to cheat the devil.
Daniel Defoe