A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.Mitch Hedberg
One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'
Mitch Hedberg
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'
Mitch Hedberg
My friend said to me, You know what I like Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.
Mitch Hedberg
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.
Mitch Hedberg
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Based on Keywords: severed, stocking, stufferNo good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
W. H. Auden
I would like to go back to Wales. I'm obsessed with my childhood and at least three times a week dream I am back there.
Anthony Hopkins
We should be recklessly abandoned to Jesus, and just turn it over to Him. Through the support I think the sacrifices will be made and we'll all be cool with it.
Stacie Orrico