Robert Hayman Poems >>
The Third Booke Of Qvodlibets

Iustice Epigram.


Kings doe correct those that Rebellious are,
And their good Subjects worthily preferre:
Iust Epigrams reproue those that offend,
And those that vertuous are, she doth commend.

2. To my delicate Readers.

When I doe read others neate, dainty lines,
I almost doe despaire of my rude rimes:
Yet I haue fetch't them farre, they cost me deare,
Deare and farre fetcht (they say) is Ladies cheere.

3. To my zealous, and honest friend, Master W.B. of Bristoll.

If thou canst not to thy preferrement come,
To be Christs red Rose in best martyrdome;
With Patience, Faith, Hope, Loue, and Constancie,
A pure blest, white Rose in Christs Garden dye.

4. Gods Loue: The Deuils Malice.

He that made man, only desires mans heart:
He that mard man, tempts man in euery part.

5. God rewards thankefull men.

What part of the Moon's body doth reflect
Her borrowed beames, yeeldeth a faire prospect;
But that part of her, that doth not doe so,
Spotty, or darke, or not at all doth show:

So what wee doe reflect on God the giuer,
With thankefulnes: those Graces shine for euer:
But if his gifts thou challeng'st to be thine,
They'll neuer doe thee Grace, nor make thee shine.

6. To a dissembling, sober, slye Protestor.

'Tis so, or so, as I'me an honest man,
Is thy assuring Protestation,
When it's as true as thou art such a one.


/40/ 7. Dissemblers coozen themselues.

Whilst in this life Dissemblers coozen some,
Themselues they coozen of the life to come.

8. On a wide-mouthed prating companion.

He prates, and talkes, and railes and no man heares.
Yet he hath mouth, to make a skore of Eares.

9. Latin Prayers by number.

Christ spake no Latin, though he could doe so,
Nor any of his Twelue, for ought I know.
Why should you in that tongue pray by the skore?

It is the Language of the Mounted Whore.
Somewhat more merrily; here lies the iest:
Most of hers speake the Language of her Beast.
In such Hobgoblin words they sing, and pray,
Scaliger full-tongu'd knowes not what they say.

10. To the Bishop of Rome.

Of Bishops I dare stile you Principall,
'Tis Antichristian to be Generall. (18)

11. A wife more deare than sweet. To a complementing kinde Husband.

Come hither, deare wife, prethee sweet wife goe,
Sweet wife, doe this, or deare wife, pray' doe so.
She's deare indeed, but not so sweet, I trow.

12. Plaisters for a Gald-heart.

On euery married man that hath a Shrowe,
(As many a married man hath one, I trow
These soure, poore, pittious plaisters I bestow,
Except their wiues death, the best helpe I know.
1. Or to thy friend reueale thy wofull plight;
2. Or let her hot words thee inflame to fight;
3. Or else withdraw thy selfe from her by flight;
4. Or with thy patience all her wrongings slight.

13. A husbands desire to his Wife.

Laugh with me, make me laugh, whilst I doe liue:
When I dye, choose where thou'lt laugh or grieue.

14. To a weeping Widdow.

Thy Husband's dead, and thou dost weepe therefore,
No: 'tis, cause thou canst make him weepe no more.

/41/ 15. Ill-fauoured Huswifery. To one shrewdly married.

Though you fall out, yet you agree herein,
When as thy wife doth wash, then doo'st thou wring.

16. To all Chollericke People.

Shrewdnes is like vnto a Grauesend toast,
Abhorred by those that doe vse it most.
In vs we doe contentedly it beare,
We cry, Fought at it, finding it else-where.
If Shrewes say they cannot their Choller smother,
I say, For healths sake we must vent that other.
'Tis hugg'd at home, abroad, at home it is abhor'd,
Thence I conclude Shrewdnes is like a T.

17. To those who I feare will find fault with this Comparison.

If you will say that this is odious,
Comparisons are so; this should be thus.

18. Reasons for the taking of Tobacco.

Since most Phisicions drinke Tobacco still,
And they of nature haue th'exactest skill,
Why should I thinke it for my body ill?
And since most Preachers of our Nation,
Tobacco drinke with moderation,
Why should I feare of prophanation?
Yet if that I take it intemperately,
My soule and body may be hurt thereby.

19. The fine Properties of good Tobacco.

Tobacco to be good, it must be strong,
Cleare smoak't, white ashes, hard and lasting long.

20. A Citty Sheriffe.

Before, and after, sparing he doth liue,
Brauely he spends, when he is Master Shrieue.

21. Si Sennior: Spaniard. Signore Si: Italian.

Of Spaniards and Italians thus I find,
As Arsee-versee they auerre their mind.
So one before, the other fins behind.

22. Why Astrea left the Earth.

On earth Astrea held the Ballance euen:
But she long since with them is fled to heauen,
/42/ Why hath Astrea bid this world Adieu?
Her Leafe was out, She would not buy a new.

23. On a Priuate, Rich, close-liuing Churle, alluding to him in Terence, who of himselfe sayes, Populus me fibulat, &c.

Walking abroad like a great Turkie-Cocke,
Some steere, some geere, eu'ry one doth me mocke:
At home amongst my puddings and my eggs,
I hugge my selfe, looking on my full bags,
Finding my selfe Fortunes white sonne to be,
I laugh at them, that euen now laugh't at me.

24. To the same fellow.

Thou art deceiu'd, selfe-flattering-golden Asse,
Whil'st thou behold'st thy selfe in a false Glasse.

25. To the Pope.

Christ said vnto the people, Reade and see
The Scriptures: for they testifie of me.
Wherefore didst thou thine reading them deny?
That thou art Antichrist, they testifie;

26. Papisticall cruelty.

Were there no other argument but this,
It proues our faith, then yours the better is.
We are not cruell, bloody, enuious,
(Though your late-lying Legends slander vs)
We meekely seeke but your Conuersion,
Weepe at your sought for Execution:
You bloody, slanderous, and inexorable
At all times, euery where, where you are able:
Witnes Maries short Raigne, French Massacre,
Which in red letters, your lewd minds declare.
Our God, thou Iust, his mercy's ouer all,
A blood-sucker, Satan was from his fall.

27. A Prayer hereupon, to the God of Iustice.

When thou for blood mak'stinquisition,
Thinke on the bloody Inquisition.

28. To our wise Roman Diuines.

Why enforce yee a blind obedience?
All else would see your Glosses enforc't sence.

/43/ 29. Why the fiue-footed Iambicke fits best in our English uerse.

Iambicks in our language haue best grace:
They with graue Spondies dance a Cinquepace:
If wanton Dactils doe skip in by chance,
They well-neere marre the measure of the Dance:
To end a verse, she may a foot be lending,
Like to a round tricke at a Galliards ending.

30. To the Diuine soule of that excellent Epigrammatist, Master Iohn Owen.
Let thy Celestiall Manes pardon me,
If like thy shaddow I haue followed thee.

32. Why Preachers stand, and Auditors sit. To his louing Friend, Master Robert Burton.

Would'st know why Preachers stand, and we doe sit?
Because what they speake with, or without wit,
Not we, but they themselues must stand to it.

33. What Prosperity cannot perswade, Aduersity will enforce.

He that in Zeale is calme, in calmes at Sea,
In stormes if he haue Zeale, in Zeale, he'le pray;
So though our Zeale be cold whil'st Fortune shines,
'Twill be more feruent in tempestuous times.

34. To a Friend.


Shew such as mine to young-briske Butterflyes,
(Who haue as many hearts as they haue eyes,)
They'll sweare to you, The best that e're they saw:
Behinde your backe, They are not worth a straw.
This shuffling shewes, that in their Pusse-paste wit,
Momus and Gnato doe at random fit.


35. Talking Beasts.

When Aesop said Beasts spake; Aesop said true.
I heard Beasts speake within this day or two.

36. The Gowte.

'Tis said, that rich men only haue the Gowt,
Of that old-rusty-sad saw, I make doubt.
/44/ Indeed the Gowt, the child is of rich men;
This froward Else, poore men nurse now and then.

37. When I was at Lincolns Inne, the fashion was, (and I thinke is still) after dinner vpon grand and festiuall dayes, some young Gentlemen of the house would take the best Guest by the hand, and he the next, and so hand in hand they did solemnly passe about the fire, the whole Company, each after other in order; to euery staffe a song, (which I could neuer sing) the whole Company did with a ioyn'd uoyce sing this burthen:
Some mirth and solace now let vs make, To cheare our hearts, and sorrowes stake. Vpon this kind of Commencement of these Reuels, I conceited this:

When wise, rich Lawyers dance about the fire,
Making graue needlesse mirth sorrowes to slacke.
If Clyents (who doe them too dearely hire,
Who want their money, and their comfort lacke)
Should for their solace, dance about the Hall:
I iudge their dance were more methodicall.

38. An old Prouerb, though a strange one, truely exemplified.

A Prouerb 'tis, how true I cannot tell,
Happy are those, whose fathers goe to hell,
Sure, some would thinke, their happinesse it were,
If their close-fisted fathers in hell were,
That they may of his wealth haue out their share.
For whil'st they liue, but little they will spare.

39. To a namelesse one.

Thou marri'st one, whom thou before didst know:
It is the fashion now to marry so.

40. The first Arithmeticke.

Adam at first in number was but one; (19)
Vntil God added Eue, he was alone: (20)
They were deuided, till the Lord them ioynes, (21)
And bade them multiply out of their Loynes: (22)
And so from them subtracted are all Nations, (23)
Vnto these present Generations.

/45/ 41. The seeming good workes of vnbeleeuers.

The glorious deeds of vnbeleeuing ones,
Are glittering cleare abominations;
So said St. Hurom: and thus saith St. Paul,
They're shining brasse, and a tinkling Cymball.
For good workes without faith and louing feare,
Doe neither please Gods eye, nor yet his eare.

42. Heauenly, and Earthly hearts.

The Earth is firme, the Heauens mutable,
Yet Heauenly mindes are firme, Earthly vnstable.

43. To a superstitious Papist, fearefull of Purgatory, who to his cost desires to haue a quick dispatch from that fearefull place.

With faith pray feruently, religious liue;
Thou need'st no money, for an Obit leaue,
Thy soule in Purgatory to relieue.

44. To rich Papists.

If the Popes Sawes by his authority,
Were truer then Christs written Verity;
Those rich men, Asses were, that went to Hell,
If they within Romes Churches limits dwell:
For though you ne'r so lewdly spend your breath,
Your Coyne will buy you Pardons after death. (24)

45. An humble, contrite, and double-diuided heart.

Gods fauour breaks forth on a broken heart:
But in a parted one God hath no part.

46. A short Dialogue betwixt two ancient Philosophers, laughing Democritus, and weeping Heraclitus.

Heraclitus.
Vaine, foolishman, why dost thou alwaies laugh?
Democritus.
Mans vanity, and foolish pride I scoffe,
Wherefore dost thou such a strange puling keepe?
Heraclitus.
For mans bad sinnes, sad miseries I weepe.

/46/ 47. Counsell to my young Cousens, Iohn and William Barker, }{ Sonnes to my Brother Abel and Mathew Rogers, }{ Barker, and his now wife.

Ill Company is like Infection,
It soone taints a good disposition
. Take heed into what Company yee fall:
Vice is a sicknes Epidemicall.

48. To one, who on his Gossips pratlings in a dangerous disease, thinks and hopes so much of his Recouery, that hee neglects the consideration of his Mortality.

'Cause some haue seap'd that haue beene almost dead,
Thou think'st that thou may'st be recovered:
But because many healthy men doe dye,
I thinke on that, knowing that so may I.

49. To my Reuerend sicke friend, W.G. of Bristoll.

When folke are sicke, we say, They are not well.
My Country phrase is, That they are not quiet.
Both of these phrases fit all those that mell
With Physicke Doses, and prescribed dyet.
The first of these two phrases fit sicke men:
The last fits best Women and Children. (25)

50. Papisticall Miracles.

Primitiue miracles were strange and true,
And did confirme the Doctrine then held new.
Yours falsely, faign'd, ridiculous, and bold,
Bolster new Doctrines, contradict the old.
Your apparitions, new-faign'd miracles,
Doe ouerthrowe the ancient Articles.

51. An Aduertisement to all Tradesmen, and may serue for Souldiers, or any others subject to Casualtie.

Who doth refuse a reasonable proffer,
Had need to haue good Fortune in his Coffer.


52. To a Card-Cheater.

To Cut, and Shuffle, in a Horse is ill:
To shuffle, and to Cut, is thy prime skill.


53. To one that hath lost both his eares.

Some that haue two eares, heare not what we say:
Thou that hast not an eare, hear'st more then they.

/47/ 54. Whome Discretion doth not, Correction will keepe vnder.

If head-strong Iades will not Gods Bit obey,
His Rod will whippe their restines away.
No quid nimis.

55. A meditation of too much and too little Winde at Sea, wracking Stormes, and staruing Calmes.

Mans state on shore, is like mans state at Sea;
Too much, too little, causeth sad decay;
Hence Poets fained Fortune heretofore
Sayling, one foote on Sea, and one of shore.

56. Fearefull Hell-Fire.

At sight of fire, bold Lyons runne away
Bold sinners, who men fearing sinne, vpbray:
The sight of Hell-fire will these Lads dismay.

57. To Sir Senix Fornicator.

Winter hath seaz'd vpon thy beard, and head,
Yet for all this, thy wilde Oates are not shed.
Me thinkes when Hills are ouerspred with Snow,
It should not wantonly be hot below.
But thou most like vnto a Lecke doth seeme:
For though thy head by white, thy tayle is green.

58. Some standers by see more }{ then Gamsters.
Some standers by leese more }{ then Gamsters.

Some wise by-standers more then Gamesters sees;
Some standers by more than wise Gamesters leese.

59. To nobly descended Recusants.

'Tis said, you came from noble Ancestors,
Who did strange wonders in the old French warres,
You say you are of their Religion,
And that it is the true and ancient one:
It was your Ancestors, for ought I know:
But new, vntrue, Gods old true Word sayes so.

60. Traditions and Gods Word. To Papists.

'Twixt your beliefe, and our Religion,
There hath beene long, and strong contention:
You proue yours by mens word: but we abhorre it:
Our proofe is better, we haue Gods Word for it.

/48/ 61. To one that asks me why I doe write so briefely.

What I doe write of, I but only touch,
Who writes of many things cannot write much, Or thus,
Who writes of many things, must needs write much.

62. To my kinde louing bedfellow, Mr. Edward Payne, on the Gift of a Ring, wherein there was a Poesie of Patience.

In your last gift you wish me Patience.
I know you meane it in the better sence;
Not a sad, bad, stout patience, Stoicall.
But one that knowes, that God sends, and mends all.

63. Wise mens ill successe, and Fooles Fortune. A Paradox.

As many Wise men hurt themselues through wit,
As there are softs grow rich, for want of it.

64. To the Pope.

Wherefore should'st thou blinds Ignorance inhance?
(On which all Wiser times did looke ascance?)
Saying it doth deuotion much aduance?
All thy mysterious skill, is Ignorance.

65. One of the Popes titles is, Seruant of Seruants.

Seruant of Seruants, Popes themselues haue nam'd,
By that stile cursed (26) Canaan was defam'd.

66. All things are uendible at Rome.

In Romes full shop are sold all kindes of ware,
(27) Mens soules purg'd, fyre-new, you may buy there.

67. To fault-finding more faulty Zoilus.

When others faults thou dost with spite reueale,
The Kettle twits the pot with his burnt taile.

68. To a hard-fauour'd Widdow, who, because she hath many Suitors, thinkes well of her selfe.

We know thee rich, and thou think'st thy selfe fine:
Thou think'st we loue thee, we know we loue thine.

69. Why Physicians thriue not in Bristoll.

In Bristoll Water-tumblers get small wealth:
There Doctor good-wine keepes them all in health.

/49/ 70. To my Readers. An Arsee-versee Reqvest, to my Friend Iohn Owen.

Doe not with my leaues make thy backeside bright:
Rather with them doe thou Tobacco light.
I'd rather haue them vp in flames to flye,
Then to be stiffled basely priuily. (28)

71. Health and Wealth.

Health is a Iewell, yet though shining wealth,
Can buy rich Iewels, it cannot buy health.

72. To Inuocators of Saints.

To Saints you offer supplication,
And say, Gods face beholding, they them know.
This is a strange bold speculation.
Whence came the Doctor that first told you so?
In Gods Word wee doe read, that God sees all:
Of such a glasse no mention made at all.

73. To those Papists, who shew their ignorant Deuotion in their Aue Maries.

How long shall Ignorance lead you astray?
Whil'st to our Lady you'd a prayer say,
You her salute, and needlesse for her pray.

74. To one of the Elders of the sanctified Parlor of Amsterdam.

Though thou maist call my merriments, my folly,
They are my Pills to purge my melancholly,
They would purge thine too, wert not thou Foole-holy.

75. Great mens entertainement.

Though rich mens troubles, kindes are esteem'd,
Yet poore mens kindnes, troubles are still deem'd.

77. To a Bad-minded, Cholericke, vngratefull man.

Thou soone forget'st those wrongs thou dost to Men:
All small wrongs done to thee thou dost remember;
Euery good turne thou dost, thou count'st it ten:
For good done to thee, thy record is slender.
Kindnes from thee, like vomits make thee sweate;
Thou swallow'st others kindnes as thy meate.

/50/ 78. To Master Fabian Sanford, Master of our Shippe and voyage in Newfound-Land, and may serue for all Masters trading there.

Men wearied are with labour other-where:
But you are weary, when you want it here.
And what in England would quite tire a horse,
Here the want of it, tyres you ten times worse.
Labour was first a curse to curbe mans pride;
The want of it, makes you to curfe, chafe, chide.
To see you worke thus, better would me please,
Did you not worke thus vpon Sabbath Dayes.

79. Goodnes and Greatnes. To my good and louing Cousin, Mistris Thomasin Spicer, wife to Doctor Richard Spicer, Physician.

Goodnes and Greatnes falling at debate,
Which should be highest in mens estimate;
After much strife, they vpon this did rest,
Great-goodnes and Good-greatnes is the best.


80. Mary Magdalens Teares. To my pretty Neece, Marie Barker.

To wash Christs feet, Maries Bath was her teares,
To wipe them drie, her Towell was her haires:
What her teares could not cleanse, nor haires makes dry,
Her Corrall lips did wipe, and mundifie.
She did anoynt him with a sweet, rich oyle,
And spared for no cost, nor for no toyle:
This Storie merits to be Registred,
And to be practised as well as read.

81. To my Neece and God-daughter, Grace Barker.

I promist, you should doe good, and fly ill,
Before that you had power, or will, or skill.
Lame Nature I knew could not walke that pace,
Without Gods Grace: therefore I nam'd you Grace.
Let mild Grace so sway Nature in you then,
That you may obtaine Grace with God and Men.

/51/ 82. To a namelesse, wise, modest, faire Gentlewoman, my louing and kind Friend, whom reciprocally I loue as hartily.

Iuno is wealth, Pallas is vertue, wit,
Uenus Loue, beautie is in Poets writ:
Pallas, and Venus haue in you their treasure,
Why should hard Iuno offer vs such measure?

83. To our most Royall Queene MARY, Wife, Daughter, and Sister to three Famous Kings.

Uenus, and Pallas, at your birth conspir'd,
To make a worke, of all to be admir'd:
Uenus with admir'd feature did you grace,
Diuine complection, an Angellike face.
Pallas inspir'd a quicke, sweet, nimble spirit,
Vertue, and wit, of admirable merit,
But I admire them most, how they could place
So much; so admirable in so small space:
And they themselues admir'd when they had ended,
A Piece which they knew could not be amended.

84. To the same most Royall Queene.

When wise Columbus offerd his New-land,
To Wise men, they him held, vaine, foolish, fond,
Yet a wise Woman, of an happy wit,
With god successe aduentur'd vpon it:
Then the wise-men their wisedomes did repent,
And their heires since their follies doe lament.
My New-land (Madam) is already knowne,
The way the ayre, the earth, all therein growne,
It only wants a Woman of your spirit,
To mak't a Land fit for your Heires t'inherit.
Sweet, dreaded Queene, your helpe here will doe well:
Be here a Famous second Isabell.

85. A Newfound-land Poeticall Picture, of the admirable exactly featur'd young Gentlewoman, Mistris Anne Lowe, eldest Daughter to Sir Gabriel Lowe, Knight, my delicate Mistris.
The Preface to her Picture.

At sight, Loue drewe your picture on my heart,
/52/ In Newfound-Land I limm'd it by my Art.

86. The Pourtraite.

If Paris vpon Ida hill had seene
You 'mongst the Three, the Apple yours had beene.
(29) Had curious Zeuxis seene your-all-excelling,
Whilst Iunoes Picture he was pencelling;
You had him eas'd in his uarious collection:
For Beautie hath in you a full Connection.


87. To the faire and uertuous Gentlewoman, Mistris Mary Winter, the younger, worthy of all loue.

Your budding beauty, wit, grace, modesty,
I did admire, euen in your infancy,
These blessed buds, each growne to a faire flowre,
Much haue I lou'd, since my first lawfull houre.
Whome few crosse-Winters haue made old and sad,
One such fayre Winter would make young and glad.

88. To the same beauteous modest Virgin, an Enigma.

Had not false shuffling Fortune paltered,
Hymen had Hyems long since altered.

89. To a faire modest Creature, who deserues a worthy name, though she desires here to be namelesse.

Niggardly Venus beauty doth impart
To diuers diuersly, and but in part.
To one a dainty Eye, a cherry Cheeke:
To some, a tempting Lip, Brests white and sleeke:
To diuers ill-shap'd bodies, a sweet face:
Cleane made Legs, or a white hand, doth some grace,
On Thee more free her gifts She doth bestow;
For Shee hath set Thee out in Folio.

90. To my outwardly faire, and inwardly uertuous kind friend, Mistris Marie Rogers, widdow, since marryed to Master Iohn Barker of Bristoll, Merchant, my kind and louing Brother in Law.

Lillies, and Roses on your face are spred,
Yet trust not too much to your white and red:
Lillies will fade, Roses their leaues will shed:
These flowres may dye, long before you are dead.
Your inward beautie (which all doe not see)
Then white and red, and you, more lasting be.

/53/ 91. To the faire, vertuous, wittie widdow, Mistris Sara Smeyths.

If it be true, (as some doe know too well
To Louers Heauen, we passe through Louers Hell:
Be confident, you shall enioy Earths glorie,
For you on Earth are past your Purgatorie.

92. To my kind and worthy Friend, Mistris E.B. wife to Captaine H.B. By my Captaines leaue.

Your outward, and your inward graces moue
My tongue to praise you, and my heart to loue.
I hope, it will not God, nor man offend,
If that in Loue your uertues I commend:
And by his Leaue who is yours in possession,
Ile loue, and praise your goodnes in reuersion.

93. To my perpetuall Ualentine, worthy Mistris Mary Tayler, wife to Master Iohn Tayler Merchant of Bristoll.

My sweet discreet perpetuall Valentine,
In your faire brest uertue hath built a Shrine,
Bedecking it with flowres, amongst the rest,
Mild bearing your not-bearing is not least.
You know the worthy husband that you haue,
Is worth more children then some fondlings craue;
Besides the blessed babes begot by good,
More comforts bring then some of flesh and blood.
Kind Valentine, still let our comfort be,
Children there are ynow for you and me.

94. To my best Cousin, Mistris Elizabeth Flea, wife to Master Thomas Flea, of Exeter Merchant.

If one were safely lodg'd at his long rest,
I could with you a Flea in my warme nest.
Who writes this, loues Yee both so well, he prayes,
Long may yee skip from Death, like nimble Fleas.

95. To the faire modest Mayd, pretty Mrs. Martha Morris, and of her hansome sister, Mistris Marie Philips, both of Bristoll.

Though Martha were with Mary angrie for't,
Yet Christ told her, (30) She chose the better part.
/54/ Faire, chaste may'd Martha, you haue chose the best:
Your sister Mary, a life (31) of lesse rest.


96. Another to the same, being since married.

But since I heare that you haue chang'd your state,
I wish your choice may proue kind, fortunate,
And that he may deserue you euery deale;
He well deserues, that doth deserue you well.

97. To the pretty, pert, forward greene, Mistris L.B.

Nature tooke time your pretty parts to forme,
She hastes her worke in you, since you were borne,
Your buds are forward, though your leaues are greene:
I thinke you will be ripe at Eleuenteene.


98. To the modest, and uertuous Widdow, Mistris Eli- zabeth Gye of Bristoll, whose dead Husband Master Philip Gye, was sometimes Gouernour of the Plantation in Newfound-Land, where he, and she liued many yeeres happily and contentedly.

Though Fortune presse you with too hard a hand,
I heare, your heart is here, in Newfound-Land.

99. To a debavsht Vniuersity. A Complaint against Drunkennesse.

Thy Sonnes (most famous Mother) in old time,
To quench their thirst, Pernassus hill did clime.
Some of thy Sonnes, now thinke that hill too steepe,
Their Helliconian springs doe lye more deepe.
Their study now is, where there is good drinke,
The Spigot is their Pen, strong beere their Inke.
I could with Democrit' laugh at this sinne,
If it in any other place had bin:
But in a place where all should be decent,
A sinne so nastie, inconuenient,
So beastly, so absurd, worthy disdaine,
It straines me quite out of my merry straine.
I could with Heraclit' lament, and cry,
Or write complaints with wofull Ieremy:
Nay, much-much more, if that would expiate

What's past, or following follies extirpate.
Many rare wits hath it infatued,
Their climbing merits quite precipited,
/55/ And hopes of ancient houses ruined.
Fooles and base sots this sinne hath made of them,
That by sobriety had beene braue men:
Yea I doe know, many wise men there be,
Which for this dare not trust their Sonnes with thee,
Fearing this Cerberus, this Dogge of Hell,
Within whose Ward all other follies dwell.
I hope, thy Sister better lookes to hers,
Indulgent Elies are thy Officers,
If they will not assist my motion,
To apply Causticks, and no Lotium;
Deare Mother, on my knees I beg this boone,
Afford this inconuenient Vice no roome,
But whip it in thy Conuocation,
Or strip it of Matriculation.

100. A short Iigge after this long Lachryvsa Pauin.

As drunke as an old Begger, once 'twas said.
As drunke as a young Scholler, now we reade.

101. To the Reuerend, Learned, Sober, and wise Gouerners in this Famous Vniuersity.

I heare, this sinne you will shut out of doore:
It ioyes me so, that I can write no more.

102. That euery one may take his. To my worthy Readers.

Faire, modest, learned, sober, wise, and wittie,
Praising I praise you, if those praises fit yee.

103. To my vnworthy Reader.

Fond, wicked, misse-led, if thou guilty be,
Although I name thee not, yet I meane thee.