This Cen-TEEN-ary, sez ‘e —
Sez I, “You’ll pardon me.”
(Perlite, like that, first off, and ‘arf in laughter).
“You’ll pardon me, I’m sure,”
I sez: “but, speakin’ pure,
Cen-TEN-ary, I think’s, the word you’re after.”
“Cen-TEEN-ary!” sez ‘e;
An’ looks fair, bang at me
All sort of snakey-eyed an’ irritated.
Sez I, “Don’t be absurd,
For the dictionary word
Is Cen-TEN-ary. It’s much more edjacated.”
“Cen-TEEN-ary!!” sez ‘e.
Some’ow, ‘e seemed to be
The sorta bloke wot gits me back up proper.
“Aw, brush yer brains!” sez I,
Gettin’ ‘ot. (I dunno why.)
“Cen-TEN-ary!” I sez. “You darn clod-‘opper!”
“Cen-TEEN-ary!!!” sez ‘e,
As snarky as could be.
(You know the sorta bloke I mean — pig-‘eaded).
“Cen-TEN-ary, you fool!
Ain’t you never been to school?”
Sez I. An’ then things ‘appened — like I dreaded.
“Cen-TEEN-ary!!!” sez ‘e.
An’ ‘e swings a left at me
That would ‘a’ knocked me cold, if it ‘ad landed.
“Ho! A gentleman!” I sneers;
“Full of nice, perlite idears.”
Then I ups an’ tears right into ‘im, two-‘anded.
“Cen-TEEN-ary,” squeaks ‘e.
(Still obstinit, yeh see).
Well, it weren’t no time for bein’ tender-‘arted,
So I spreads ‘im on the floor,
An’ ‘e never sez no more ….
So, please yer Worship, that was ‘ow it started.
(C J Dennis)
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Based on Topics: Fairness Poems, Education Poems, Laughter Poems, Fool Poems, Brain Poems, Worship PoemsBased on Keywords: arf, squeaks, speakin, ups, darn, dunno, some, yeh, perlite, two-, irritated