Oh, the progress of Woman has really been vast
Since Civilization began.
She’s usurped all the qualities which in the past
Were reckoned peculiar to Man.
She can score with a bat, use a rod or a cue;
Her tennis and golf are sublime.
Her aim with a gun is uncommonly true,
But Man beats her hollow at crime.
The strings to her bow are both varied and quaint;
There are maids who can work with the pen,
There are maids who can handle the palette and paint
With a skill that’s not given to men.
There are ladies who preach, lady doctors there are,
MPs will be ladies in time,
And ladies, I hear, practise now at the Bar —
But Man holds the record for crime.
So it’s hey for the jemmy, and ho for the drill,
And hurrah for the skeleton keys.
Oh, to burgle a house or to rifle a till!
I am more than her equal at these.
She may beat me at home, she may beat me afield;
In her way I admit she is prime.
But one palm at least I compel her to yield:
I can give her a lesson in crime.
(P G Wodehouse)
More Poetry from P G Wodehouse:
P G Wodehouse Poems based on Topics: Man, Time, Past, Golf, Crime, Progress, Home, Woman- The Rivals...A Tale of the Smart Set (P G Wodehouse Poems)
- Printer's Error (P G Wodehouse Poems)
- Damon And Pythias: A Romance (P G Wodehouse Poems)
- For One Night Only (A Tragedy) (P G Wodehouse Poems)
- Missed (P G Wodehouse Poems)
- A War Office Enquiry (P G Wodehouse Poems)
Readers Who Like This Poem Also Like:
Based on Topics: Man Poems, Time Poems, Home Poems, Past Poems, Woman Poems, Crime Poems, Progress Poems, Golf PoemsBased on Keywords: uncommonly, civilization, tennis, jemmy, mps