Going through life can be very challenging at times, when we were young no one told us how hard it will be in the future but here we are. One of the gigantic problems of adult life is having self-doubt, it is nasty and can kill your confidence levels if not controlled from the get-go.
We will all experience some traces of self-doubt, that much is natural. It happens to us during normal days or whenever we are going to start a new job, a new task, or a new relationship, anything new in life will make you self-doubt. This sort of feeling plunges you into a dark abyss where nothing seems to go right and you might feel like giving up, that is the time to be strong.
There are some people out there that mistake self-doubt for something else, self-doubt is when you are unsure about one or more aspects of yourself. For example, when starting a new job, you might feel inexperienced or might think that you are not fit enough for the job, this is a prime example of self-doubt.
Self-doubt isn’t all that bad, let us tell you why! Low-level of self-criticism is actually good for you, it motivates you and pushes you to be better in life, to become greater than yesterday. This type of feeling will push you to work harder and faster than before and will also increase your productivity, but it should be a low level of self-criticism, you don’t want to punish yourself over things that are beyond your control.
What Is Self-Doubt?
In plain and simple terms, self-doubt is the inability to have confidence in your own skills and capabilities. It is a venomous mindset that limits you from achieving your true potential, Humility is one of the best traits that you can possess but if it comes at your own expense, then there is no use in having that kind of trait. Anything that proves harmful to your mental or physical health, is something that you shouldn’t possess in the first place.
Whenever the word self-doubt comes into play, I remember these brilliant words from Van Gogh:
If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.
What Are The Root Causes Of Self-Doubt?
Self-Doubt isn’t something that you are born with, it is developed as you pass the different stages of life. There are many ways a person can develop self-doubt. The best approach that we can take is to eliminate any kind of self-doubt we have, but before that can happen, it is necessary that we understand the very cause of self-doubt.
Here are some possible reasons behind self-doubt, once we understand them, we can develop effective strategies to overcome them.
Narcissistic and Strict Parents
This is perhaps the main reason why many people are plagued with self-doubt. Our parents made mistakes in their time and most of the time, we are worried about repeating those mistakes, this often clouds our judgment and decision-making. Narcissistic parents are one of the first reasons why so many people swing to the extreme. You may even become too modest and unconfident, this can be very overwhelming.
Once you start being like this, it can become very hard to accept any kind of praise or grow.
The past can be a very tricky business to deal with, it latches onto us until nothing is left. The saying is true, “The Past Can Haunt Us”. Apart from haunting us, it can also create self-doubt which can be very hard to deal with. Our experiences shape who we are and what we become, instead of staying in the present, there are many people that don’t let go of their past.
Tough Love Approach
In order to be a better version of ourselves, tough love can be a good motivator but we don’t need to become drill sergeants while doing that. Over-criticizing ourselves actually does more harm than good, and I say this from experience. Overworking and a fear of failure only lead to self-sabotage.
The Fear Of Failure and Success
In life, we will often have a fear of failure but also of becoming successful. The responsibility of becoming successful is something bizarre but it often plagues people that have a lot of self-doubts. Sometimes we might have a fear of pleasing some people (It could be our parents and our bosses at work). Other than this, when we are unable to replicate our recreate our past glory, we start doubting ourselves, which is very wrong.
The Different Types Of Self-Doubt
Self-Doubt is very tricky to understand sometimes, there are instances when we might be doubling ourselves without even knowing it.
The first type of self-doubt is the imposter syndrome, now let me explain it. This is an irrational and illogical fear of being a fraud in the eyes of others. Sometimes you might feel that you are undeserving of your accomplishments, this is what the imposter syndrome is all about.
You might have heard about self-sabotage, this is another type of self-doubt. When we are too hard on ourselves and undermine all of our efforts, we do self-sabotage. We don’t think about our goals, our values, and the efforts that we are making for the betterment of our lives. This is one of the most dangerous types of self-doubt.
A person needs to make decisions in life which will benefit them in the future. Self-doubt proves to be a very big hurdle when it comes to decision-making. This third type of self-doubt is the inability to make fruitful decisions for yourself.
If we don’t control self-doubt over time then chances are that we may never be successful. Our self-esteem will erode and we will be filled with never-ending negativity.
Steps To Overcome Self-Doubt and Fear Of Losing
Living with self-doubt can be very challenging, it limits potential and breaks morale. Here are some strategies that you can utilize to overcome self-doubt.
Self-Compassion Is The Key
We often doubt ourselves when we have the fear of losing, but that is a grave mistake we make. Everyone will make mistakes at some part in their lives, but we have to grow from those mistakes and transform them into a lesson. We learn from our mistakes, we won’t succeed in life if we don’t make mistakes.
The approach for this kind of scenario is to learn from mistakes and strive to be better. Start your day with some positivity, look at yourself in the mirror, and make some positive affirmations. Trust me, this will make your day better!
Never Compare Yourself With Others
Comparing yourself is a toxic act, and it falls under self-sabotage. Why would you compare yourself with a family member, a friend, or even your colleague when each of your lives is different? You should focus on yourself and only your achievements, this will allow you to fulfill your goals without any worries.
Reflect Back To Your Past Achievements
Remember the time when you achieved something remarkable? Self-reflection is one of the best tools to eliminate self-doubt. It makes you remember that you once achieved something great, and it makes you believe that you can achieve that level of success again through concentrated efforts. Never live in the past but learn to strive in the present!
Learn from your mistakes and move on, you are meant for great things!
Always Be In The Company Of Supportive People
“You are known by the company you keep”, is one of the best sayings to explain this strategy. We should be surrounded by people that support and love us, not people that constantly make us doubt ourselves. Being around negative people is very bad for our mental health.
When you are in the company of good people, they will always encourage you to be better. They will help you recover from negative and stressful situations.
Only You Are Your Biggest Critic
There is no bigger inner critic of ourselves than ourselves, only we should be able to judge our progress in life, and no one else should have that power. You cannot let go of other people just because they have failed to achieve something. If your sister failed her driving test, would you let her go? If you won’t do anything like that then why are you stressing yourself up over situations like these?
Apologize to yourself and move on, you will start becoming better instantly!
Seek Professional Help If Necessary
Sometimes the situation can become too much to handle, this is the time when we should seek professional help. Self-doubt can become a persistent obstacle if not taken care of. Talk about your feelings often, and let all the negative emotions out, this will make you feel a lot better.
Start Journaling Events
In life, there will come many events that we are thankful for, especially our stellar achievements. It is better to start keeping track/record of them. This journaling of events will be really helpful when you are doubting yourself. Compare yourself to the time when you achieved greatness, and convince yourself that you can be that person again.
Love yourself more and your problems will start decreasing!
Inspirational Quotes To Help Against Self-Doubt
Here are some powerful quotes to help you stop self-doubt. Give them a read and let us know!
The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.
FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are fall of doubts and the stupid ones are full of confidence.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
Criticism is just someone else’s opinion. It is up to you to choose whether to believe some of it, none of it, or all of it. What you think is what counts.
Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.
The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.
J. M. Barrie
When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.
When someone tells me “no,” it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.
Go after what you want, not what you know you can easily have.
Strength is how you shut down the voice in your head that says “I can’t”.
You are not “not good enough”. You are just not seeing clearly enough, not trying hard enough, and not trusting yourself enough.
Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
Stop worrying about how it’s gonna happen and start believing that it will.
You’re busy doubting yourself while others are intimidated by your full potential.
Never let what you don’t know stop you from doing what you do know.
You don’t get what you want by worrying about it. You get it by actually putting in the work.
Better an oops than a what if.
Watch: How To Eliminate Self Doubt Forever & The Power of Your Unconscious Mind
Self-Doubt will only hold you back from your goals and progress in life. Watch this insightful video to put and end to all doubts once and for all!