Famous George Carlin Quotes

Listed in: Inspirational Quotes

On Life:

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it A Death What’s that, a bonus I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…… and you finish off as an orgasm.

On Death:

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

On Religion:

Religion is just mind control.