My son came home from school one day,
with a silly grin on his face,
He thought he was smarter than me, his mom,
and he could put me in my place.
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright,
It’s about the laws of the land, today,
its called the Children’s Bill of Rights.
That I don’t have to clean my room,
I don’t even have to cut my hair,
Nobody can tell me what I can eat,
or choose the clothes I wear.
Freedom of speech is my constitutional guarantee,
and its my choice of what I read, or what I watch on T.V.
I have the freedom of religion, and regardless to what you say,
I don’t have to ask your God for help—I don’t have to pray.
I can wear an earring in my ear,
and if I want to–I can pierce my nose,
It’s my choice if I so desire,
to tattoo Satan’s numbers–across my toes.
Hey, if ever again you try to spank me,
I will charge you with the crime,
and I can back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
HE SAID, NOW:
Don’t ever touch my body again,
this body of mine is for me to use,
And not for your hugs and kisses and stuff,
that’s just another form of child abuse.
HE CONTINUED WITH:
And stop trying to fill my head with morals,
like your mama did to you,
Things like that is called mind control,
And that’s illegal too!
Mom, I have these children’s rights,
you can’t do a thing to me,
I can call the children’s services,
better known as C. S. D.
My very first impression was,
to toss this boy right out the door,
But here was a chance to teach him a lesson,
for once and for ever more.
I took my time and mulled it over,
but something like this I couldn’t let go,
This kid of mine didn’t realize,
that he was messing with a pro!
AND AWAY WE GO!
The next day we went shopping,
very much to his dismay,
I didn’t buy him 501s
or shirts designed by Nike.
I had called and talked to the C. S. D.,
they said that they didn’t really care,
If I bought him Volume shoes,
or a pair of Nike Airs.
I canceled his appointment with DMV,
so he could test his driving skills,
I’d probably be dead by now for sure,
If only looks could kill!
By-the-way, I don’t have time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff for you to munch,
I think you should follow C. S. D.’s advice,
And make yourself a big sack lunch.
So, you say what? That you’re not hungry,
that you can wait until dinner time?
Well, I am fixing liver and onions,
Cause that a favorite dish of mine.
Can we stop to get a movie,
so you can watch on the VCR?
Gosh no! I sold what was your T.V.,
And bought four new tires for my car.
I also rented out your room,
sorry, you really don’t need a bed,
All I really have to do for you,
Is put a roof over your head.
As long as I have to buy your clothes,
and the food that you must eat,
The money I gave you for an allowance,
Is going to buy me something neat.
No more eating after we shop,
no more joking along the way,
Son, I too have Bill of Rights
That goes into effect today.
What’s the matter, why are you crying?
What are you doing down on your knees?
Why are you asking God to help you,
Instead of C. S. D.?