Will Rogers Quotes (368 Quotes)


    It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.

    The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

    Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

    Will Rogers used to say he wouldnt run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.



    Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

    The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds.

    No matter what you weigh, the little fellow is your equal on a horse.

    If these refugees had come to Texas and called call centers, most of them, instead of getting help, would have gotten busy signals,

    Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.

    We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

    Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.

    Statesmen think they make history but history makes itself and drags the statesmen along.

    I have Indian blood in me. I have just enough white blood for you to question my honesty

    America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.

    All I know is just what I read in the papers.

    American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off

    Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

    That's what makes us a great nation. We take the little things serious, and the big ones as a joke.

    Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

    What's the matter with the world Why, there ain't but one thing wrong with every one of us -- and that's selfishness.

    An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

    Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

    You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.


    There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

    I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.

    People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.

    Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.

    It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

    The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

    The best doctor is the veterinarian. He cant ask his patients what is the matter hes got to just know.

    I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

    Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

    Our investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to knowledge.

    A diplomat is one that says something that is equally misunderstood by both sides, and never clear to either.

    Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and every kind of animal in the world will drift in for refreshments.

    They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now if they take your car and if they are caught it's a miracle.

    I'm just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have is because I have stayed an old country boy.

    Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

    No nation ever had two better friends than we have. You know who they are The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

    If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

    I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.

    It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

    It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

    We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

    More words ain't good for anything in the world only to bring on more argument.

    Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

    Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.


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