Tom Lehrer Quotes (28 Quotes)


    On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

    It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.

    I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

    Brush your teeth with the best toothpaste,Then rinse your mouth with industrial waste.

    If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared not only to retract it, but also to deny under oath that I ever said it


    Disclaimer If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. (Thomas Andrew

    If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.

    Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

    Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

    An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

    Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

    Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things.

    The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

    On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to cheat him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four

    Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them.

    I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

    In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

    If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

    Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

    I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

    It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

    In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics plagiarize only be sure always to call it ... research. (Thomas Andrew

    That it's sometimes indistinguishable from misanthropy is a risk the A.V. Club is willing to take. People are stupider than anybody, ... They ban 'Huckleberry Finn' because it has the word 'nigger' in it. That's just silly. But what can you do Except kill those people.

    When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

    Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

    Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

    In the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you are doing rather than to get the right answer.

    All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder.For filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan,And the Wizard of OZ, there's a dirty old man


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