Sarah Silverman Quotes (32 Quotes)

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.

I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets We're not afraid of them.

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.

People need to feel like they're not being attacked, like they're in a safe space where no punches are being pulled.

You got it, doll, I was curious to see which Courtney Love was going to show up the smeared-lipstick crazy coke whore or the violent smeared-lipstick crazy coke whore.

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

SS Jesus is Magic.

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

I think that's always how it's been, ... I certainly didn't invent it. Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know

I always want to laugh at the sad stuff. You don't need to laugh at the other stuff. I'm not numb to these things. I still go into really dark periods about Sept. 11. I think it's kind of like bullies. Bullies are just scared and thin-skinned, so they have to become bullies as a kind of survival tactic. I think comics are that way, too.

I really think everything is fair game.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

This is crazy Donald. When I see the prices at the mall, I just want to vomit.

And I like that people sometimes get more out of it - if it instigates thoughts about race, or sex, or something.

but it's not as common as you would think.

Oh, this sounds so obnoxious, ... I'm not planning anything out. I'm just trying to be funny. I don't think any of it's particularly deep. It's just what interests me.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.

And then in my senior year of high school, I tried to go on at local nightclubs in New Hampshire, or I'd go on at school assemblies.

I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.

I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.

I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.

Guess what, Martin Luther King I had a (expletive) dream, too.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

The nightmare stories are all true, but it was good. Made me so strong after that year of getting my confidence beaten out of me.