Sandra Bernhard Quotes (34 Quotes)


    There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.

    Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.

    When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

    I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

    I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.



    I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

    I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

    I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.

    When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself.

    Love is the only shocking act left on the face of the earth.


    Barbara Bush has her finger on the pulse of America. I'm so glad she's back and more compassionate than ever, ... That's right, of course people just sat around New Orleans, boring, uninspired, soulless New Orleans, and dreamed of someday relocating to the Astrodome. 'Oh, dear lord, if only I could leave my unhappy existence and head on up to wonderful Houston and live with my friends side by side in a spacious football stadium, my life would be so much richer and complete.'

    That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

    I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

    On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson. On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and Dennis Hopper--all your choices should be so easy.

    If you close your eyes, you could just as well imagine me to be vintage.

    I've become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don't like the position.

    At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.

    Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

    When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?

    Smut, if it's really smut, there's nothing backing it up. It's the easy way out.

    I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

    I think everybody is covering their posteriors with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.

    I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.


    Madonna's got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

    I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

    A remembrance can mean nothing to the one remembered it can only remind the ones left behind how little they did while you were still alive.

    The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

    I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.


    There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

    Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.


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