Robin Williams Quotes (90 Quotes)

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

He went from looking like a Greek god to becoming Buddha quiet, contained, but so powerful, ... And he's such a fighter. I thought, 'He's going to the hospital, he'll be OK, he'll come out.'

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

There have been two different drafts (of the script). The hard part about following it up is at the end of the first one, he revealed his identity to his kids. How do you play that out How does she come back One of the ideas was that he'd go to New York because his daughter was going to college and he'd be nearby. But as a script, it never worked.

I had a lovely military flight, thank you. I love spiraling in -- nothing like that to make your colon go, Fire in the hole

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

We wanted a name that was fun and different and something people would remember. Foundation board member Betty McCain suggested Winter Solstice, and we went with that.

We show-ed a lot of intensity on defense early. But we missed one of our point guards who is the spark for our defense.

They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants You go, girl

I was hoping for the fallout of girls that would go for him. I was kind of his fool. We went through the same wild times in New York, hitting everything. Massive p hunt.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

all of our love and support to Dana and her family during this challenging time.

If you masturbated with your left hand, would it be like being touched by a retarded person

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

About his body hair I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, 'I'm in here when you're walking around like that'

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

They make these outrageous comedies and just use these kids as props. They're not beings who are transforming.

When exactly did Ted Kennedy become Jabba the Hutt He's not a macy's day float Bring him down it's time for elections

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

We men are driven to meet Miss Right . . . or at least Miss Right Now.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Mr. Keating Seize the day Make your lives extraordinary.

There are so many beautiful parts of the world . . . Thailand, Italy, the south of France. There are places in Spain that are astonishing. But here . . . 25 miles and you go up on Mount Tam to see the fog come in 25 miles the other direction and you're somewhere else that takes your breath away. There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.

But only in their dreams can men be truly free It was always thus and always thus will be.

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

And I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?