Paula Poundstone Quotes (10 Quotes)

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

It is the best part of the night. The classic (interactive) lines are 'Where are you from What do you do for a living' I almost always get something interesting.

I think that's why they have so many relgious freaks in the airports...they even keep the flowers behind the counter 'Go, go my children...be fruitful and annoy.

The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much, ... I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

The position of First Lady has no rules, just precedent, so its evolution has been at a virtual standstill for years. If Martha Washington didn't do it, then no one is sure it should be done.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.