Mike Royko Quotes (13 Quotes)

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

Show me the worst school districts in Detroit, New York, Chicago and Los Angeles, and I'll show you parents that shouldn't be raising a Chia Pet, much less a child.

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

They say he is kind of dumb. This, they contend, is why he let his pal, Ted Isaacs, lead him to graft, disgrace, and, probably, a federal pen.

His goal is not quality journalism. His goal is vast power for Rupert Murdoch, political power.

The Newberry seemed the perfect place for Mike's papers, ... I'm sure he would be honored and humbled to know his columns and papers are in such good company with the works of his respected colleagues and those he admired. Now everything he saved, from his funny hand-written responses to readers to the get well letters he received, will be accessible to anyone who wants to see a more personal side of Mike.

Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.

So if you visit Chicago, enjoy the many great courses, the Midwestern friendliness, and the cities other amenities. But if a stranger with a goofy swing wants to play for more than loose change, take a pass. It's a long walk back to your hotel in bare feet.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

Forty years ago, we were on the tail of the Front Page era. There was a different point of view. Reporters and editors were more forgiving of public people. They didn't think they had to stick someone in jail to make a career.

I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message. I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

Hey, Dennis, this is Mike Kick me, please I'll settle for the price of a set of golf clubs.