Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. (Ken Dodd)
He must have come to about six shows and even watched a couple of them, and I have to say the finished image is just how I want to be remembered. I want people to remember me as a working comedian. (Ken Dodd)
I feel people desperately want a laugh and what I offer them is optimistic comedy. Unlike some comics, I don't tell them what a rotten world it is. I say life is fabulous and wonderful and we should enjoy it while we can. (Ken Dodd)
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months I don't like to interrupt her. (Ken Dodd)
I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside. (Ken Dodd)
I thought it would be a good idea to go into Politics, maybe I am a little old... but you know... I'd love to be Chancellor of the Exchequer - That way I'll be united with my money (Ken Dodd)
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute - I've got to have them. (Ken Dodd)
When asked if Ken believed in safe sex his answer came 'Of course I do I have an Iron Bar around the bed. (Ken Dodd)