I think I'll move to Australia.
I think I'll move to Australia.
I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Some days are like that. Even in Australia.
One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again.
Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.
I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.
It's true love because if he said quit drinking martinis but I kept on drinking them and the next morning I couldn't get out of bed, he wouldn't tell me he told me.
Because we believe ourselves to be better parents than our parents, we expect to produce better children than they produced.
Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.
Love and Shrimp.
Lust is what keeps you wanting to do it even when you have no desire to be with each other. Love is what makes you want to be with each other even when you have no desire to do it.
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but not when someone's saying I love you.
Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational - but how much does it cost you to knock on wood?
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.
We will have to give up the hope that, if we try hard, we somehow will always do right by our children. The connection is imperfect. We will sometimes do wrong.
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Close friends contribute to our personal growth. They also contribute to our personal pleasure, making the music sound sweeter, the wine taste richer, the laughter ring louder because they are there.
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories