George Mikes Quotes (10 Quotes)

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other of 3,950 million. The latter group does not really count.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science their labor bore fruit.

Continental people have sex lives the English have hot-water bottles.

When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.

In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.