Dick Gregory Quotes (26 Quotes)

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.

We do not believe, had he been white, that he would be dead. And when we black folks say to America that we're not going to tolerate it, it's going to stop.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

They black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after the way Hitler done messed it the swastika symbol up

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.

America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.

So why would I want to call myself a conservative after the way them white racist thugs have used that word to hide behind They call themselves new Republicans.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

Civil Rights What black folks are given in the U. S. on the installment plan, as in civil-rights bills. Not to be confused with human rights, which are the dignity, stature, humanity, respect, and freedom belonging to all people by right of their birth.

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

A politician is a person skilled in the art of compromise. Usually an elected official who has compromised to get nominated, compromised to get elected, and compromised repeatedly to stay in office.

King was really telling us it's not about love, it's about being lovable. 'I love you baby and if I can't have you no one else will is frightening,' but once you become lovable we become safe and that's where I think we'll end up.

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.