Denis Leary Quotes (26 Quotes)

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, OK Jerry

I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green, Merry fkin' Christmas

Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

Tommy has quit drinking and she shows up and all hell breaks loose.

You're 16 years old, you don't know shit about shit, and PULL UP YOU'RE PANTS

I will tell you that the last five shows are going to really blow people out of the water. There's gonna be a lot of head-spinning going on.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.

It's always great to get word that you've been picked up for another season, ... We're really hitting our stride and have great story lines already mapped out for next year.

Ray Romano gets the films' emotional moments, John the funny ones, but Diego makes it all happen. Diego is still a leader smart and strong, but he thinks he may be getting soft' because of his fear of the water.

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing.

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.

I'm the enemy because I like to think. I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy that could sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs or the side order of gravy fries I want high cholesterol. I would eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese. Okay I want to smoke Cuban cigars the size of Cincinnati in the nonsmoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why Because I might suddenly feel the need to. Okay, pal

Crazy ... Maybe. But that's a good kind of crazy. It's a guy who knows what he wants.

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?

Most of the stories that we do are true stories from the last 20 years in the fire department, both funny and tragic,

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nuture.

I just think it's difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can't blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

I'd object. And like a baseball manager, he'd come right back at me.