Allan Carr Quotes (18 Quotes)

I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

We had James Brown on, and he started talking about his prostate problems. If superstars end up like this, there's no hope for any of us, is there

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me.

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.