Behold, once more, facetious Ben
Steps from his paste to take the pen;
And as the trumpets, shrill and loud,
Precede the sheriff’s javelin’d crowd,
So Ben before-hand advertises
His snug-laid scheme for the Assizes.
Each of the evenings, Ben proposes,
With pies so nice to smoke your noes:
No cost, as heretofore, he grudges;
He’ll stand the test of able judges;
And think that, when the hall is up,
How cheap a juryman may sup!
For lawyer’s clerks, in wigs so smart,
A tight warm room is set apart. —
My masters eke (might Ben advise ye),
Detain’d too long at nizey prizey,
Your college commons lost at six,
At Ben’s the jovial evening fix;
From tripe-indentures, stale and dry,
Escap’d to porter and a pie.
Hither, if ye have any taste,
Ye booted evidences, haste!
Ye lasses too, both tall and slim,
In riding-habits dress’d so trim,
Who, usher’d by some young attorney,
Take, each assize, an Oxford journey;
All who, supeona’d on the occasion,
Require genteel accommodation,
Oh! haste to Ben’s, and save your fines
You’d pay at houses deck’d with signs!
Lo I! a cook of taste and knowledge,
And bred the coquus of a college,
Having long known the student’s bounty,
Now dare to cater for the county.
(Ben Tyrrell)
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Based on Topics: Youth Poems, Sense & Perception Poems, Wisdom & Knowledge Poems, Education Poems, Sign & Symbol Poems, Haste Poems, College PoemsBased on Keywords: commons, fines, escap, precede, sheriff, javelin, genteel, lawyer, booted, wigs, proposes