With reverence and submission due,
Kind sir those words are sent to you,
And with them a good wish too,
Long may you reign,
And like Wellington at Waterloo
Fresh laurels gain.
2nd
Your petitioners are under thy care,
In mercy therefore hear our prayer,
Nor let us wallow in despair,
But soothe each pang,
But allow no flogger to prepare
Food for your gang.
3rd
‘Tis said that by your ordination
Our late cook lost his situation,
And Duffy is in nomination
His berth to fill;
But has not got our approbation,
Nor never wi11.
4th
Your judgement Sire, put to good use,
Nor burthen us with foul abuse,
Full long we’ve drunk the dregs and juice
Of black despair,
Yet we can find another screw loose
Or two somewhere.
5th
Our jaws now daily will grow thinner,
And stomachs weak, as I’m a sinner,
For Duffy is a human skinner,
Most barbarous wretch.
Each day I’d rather have my dinner
Cooked by Jack Ketch.
6th
It matters not whether salt or fresh,
Even his touch would spoil each dish.
His cooking we never can relish-
We’d rather starve.
For be assured tis human flesh
He best can carve.
7th
To any rational being I appeal,
Whether he’s fit to cook a meal
For a vile caterpillar or snail,
Or a beast of prey.
Men he has scoured in every gaol
In Botany Bay.
8th
I know the damned devils when they sit
To dine, will long for a savoury bit.
Now Duffy’s just the person fit
To boil their kettles,
To send him to the Bottomless Pit
To cook their victuals.
9th
But did he even touch our -meat,
A furnace our coppers wouldn’t heat,
And every knife, fork, spoon and plate
Would cry out Shame,
And in the midst of our debate
Would curse thy name.
10th
Or if Saints Matthew, Mark, John and Luke,
With Moses who wrote the Pentateuch
Consented to make this flogger our cook.
I ‘ d say ’tis foul;
If I wouldn’t swear it on the Book,
Hell seize my soul.
llth
Now sir, your petitioners great and small
On bended knees before you fall;
Nor let us in vain for redress call,
Drive Duffy away,
And as in duty bound we all
Will ever pray.
‘Tis needless to say the prayer was granted.
(Francis McNamara)
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