A step by step guide to installing love on the human machine.
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am
ready to install now. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located
your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,
and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called
HIGHESTEEM.EXE
However,you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have
been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically.
Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?
Tech Support: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS".
What does that mean?
Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means
that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet
been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things,
but in non-technical terms it means - "you have to 'LOVE' your own machine
before it can "LOVE" others."
Customer: So what should I do?
Tech Support: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Tech Support : You're welcome. Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also,
you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty
your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never
comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that
WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all
over my HEART!
Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able
to handle it from here. One more thing before I go
Customer: Yes?
Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help
