My darling daughter,
Recently I came across a diary of yours, written when you were nine.
Curiosity got the better of me and and I opened it. I read your goals
and amongst the ten most important ones, like diving from the tallest
board and being the best roller skater in the city, stood one little
goal that was too incredible -- too unbelievable for me to take in. The
goal was,
'to make mom happy.'
I shook my head in disbelief as I read this. When did I burden your
nine year old spirit with this overwhelming task? Was I even aware of
it?
I don't think so, as I would have told you that you made me happy every
day of my life. My first thoughts in the morning were of you. When I got
home from work I couldn't wait to see your pixie face and your little
braids, all mussed up from a hard day at school and play. The one thing
I looked forward to all day long was sitting down and talking to you and
finding out what your day was like. You kept my spirit alive, my mind
challenged and my body active. You were, and still are the light of my
life.
When I went to bed at night I would ask God to be beside you, for as a
working, single mother, I couldn't always do that. While it was true
that I was a lonely person sometimes, I was always happy that I had my
little girl to hold and cherish. You were my life.
I sometimes ask God why he gave me such a special gift. Without you, my
life would have been a void. Yet you held that terrible responsibility
that it was you who had to make me happy -- and you never said a word.
If only I had known! So I will tell you now what's in my heart.
I never needed any other children, for you gave me the love of
thousands of them. You made me happy every day of my life and you
continue to do so.
You are a mother now, with a child of your own. When she is growing,
tell her how happy she makes you. Try not to make the mistake that I
somehow did and burden her with a responsibly that is far beyond her
years.
Sometimes we forget to say the words that is in our hearts. These words
can be so very precious to a child. They can make a world of difference
in their outlook of things. Sometimes, it's not the things we 'do' say
but what we 'don't' that counts. We tend to overlook that.
You are my joy in life, my little one. You always have been, and you
always will be. Never forget that, and tell that to the little child
inside you. Remind her that she was the most important and joyful thing
that ever happened to this humble woman! I love you, dearest daughter.
Mom.
