A man dies and goes to Heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the
Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points
to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've
done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending
on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and
never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says, slightly concerned. "Well, I attended church
all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!" he moans, now really getting worried. "I started a soup
kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!" the man cries. "At this rate the only way I get into
Heaven is by the grace of God!"
St. Peter nods and says, "Bingo, 100 points! Come on in my son!"
